Dear Jesus,
I mean, I’m only
having a tantrum because I don’t understand what’s going on. I
feel like my body is out of control with all these hormones and sugar issues
and swelling limbs; I feel like my house is out of control with all the strewn
boxes and stacks of paper; in fact, I feel like my whole life is out of control
for so many reasons. I scream and sometimes I think You don’t listen. I cry and
sometimes I think You don’t see. I don’t know if I’m coming or going with You,
honestly.
But You certainly have
proven Yourself to be trustworthy. Whenever I’ve asked You to work on my
behalf, You have. You always send the word I need, the person I need, to get
through another set of minutes. You whispered gently to me at my lowest,
celebrated with me at my highest. You were at my wedding when I married the man
You led me to. You will be at the birth of the daughter You promised me. You’ve
held my hand when I’ve let You and allowed me to walk away when I thought I
could do it better on my own. All 28 years of my life, You have pursued me
relentlessly with the love and passion I sought in so many places before
turning to You. You have filled my life to the brim, even in the scariest
times, with joy straight from Your heart to mine.
So you can have my
talents, my dreams, my desires, and I’ll find peace in a quiet corner of my
heart, in an armchair with a cup of coffee and Your company, as I await further
guidance from You. It isn’t easy this way, but it is possible. And as my
powerlessness tries to muscle away my hope, I’ll remember how strong You are
and how bowled over I am by the truth of Your love.
You know where to find
me. Come soon.
Love,
Amie
